Jumping right into the Bible. Forgive the random thoughts here.
Hebrews 5:11
"We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn."
Somtimes, I really feel like that's me... :/ Not a fun feeling.
v 12-14
"In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil."
Thus the "ouch" title. I hate that sometimes I feel like I do need that elementary stuff pounded back in because I'm so easy to forget the basics. Though I am getting quite tired of it. I'd like to move on and learn to take on the deeper stuff. I want to train myself by constant use, to distinguish good from evil. The obvious things are obvious, but what about those things that try to linger in the grey area? When we really know God we'll be able to discern the things that are or aren't from Him. I want that. I feel like I'm probably somewhere in-between milk and solid food. Baby food mush? Lol! I should be eating more solid food from God's word, but I feel like I'm stuck on repeat. That my mind isn't cooperative enough to notice and/or grasp those deeper things. I feel like I have most of the basics down, but not good enough to move on without extra effort. And I don't naturally know how to actually put in that extra effort. I don't want to fake it. Or pretend to be "deep". I want to truly learn God and his Word. How do I do that when I'm so distractable?
I feel so ashamed that I sometimes take that "milk" still... Especially having been a Christian for so long. But I think in some areas I'm past it. It's hard to tell some days.
I want to grow-up, to be a more mature follower of God.
I think keeping my focus on Him, and learning the Bible helps. I'm going through it at an uber-slow pace, but I think in a way that more of it sticks. So perhaps that will help me grow to be more mature?
Thoughts?
I agree!! I am learning SO SO SO much more when I go through at a slower pace then I ever did on that "chapter a day" or "read 12 chapters a day to get through the Bible in a year!" stuff.
ReplyDeleteThe other day, as I was reading, it just dawned on me (or maybe God was speaking it to me). View your time spent Bible reading as time spent getting to know your spouse. Initially you're going to move slow and not know very much... Maybe you (in general) knew your spouse since you were 6 years old as a family friend but are just now starting to date him/her at 19 years old - you're just now *really* getting to know him/her. It's nothing to be ashamed of! And the more TIME you spend getting to know that person, the closer you will get, even if you don't know every single detail of their life. Likewise, we'll grow closer to Christ by spending so much time with Him, even if we don't know every single verse in the Bible. Does that make sense? Spending time in our Bibles, prayer, worship, etc with Christ is comparable to going on dates, having dinner, etc with our spouse.
And I love that you're being "real" and not faking it... that's the one thing I HAD to promise myself when I started too, that no matter what was happening or how I was feeling, I absolutely was going to hide no more. If I flat out suck, then guess what, I admit it. And once you admit it, you can work past it and become... unsuckable? haha
I love you friend!! I really enjoyed this post!